Silent longing in situationships

Navigating the intricate web of ‘situationships’ proves to be an arduous journey, and on a particular workday, I found myself at his place. Working from home granted us the liberty to engage in activities we perhaps shouldn’t. As I entered, he exuded his usual charm, with damp hair and a lingering trace of the musky perfume he had spritzed moments before my arrival.

Both being introverts, our conversations rarely ventured beyond the surface. We covered the usual spectrum — weather, traffic, friends, the fate of potted plants, and the complexities of rental situations. Yet, the weight of silence became palpable, prompting me to broach a question that lingered in the air: Why the infrequent communication? Why, at times, did I feel an unsettling sense of being unwanted?

In response, he spoke of his aversion to verbosity, labeling my quest for validation. Is it unreasonable, I wondered, to seek validation from someone I’ve intimately shared my life with for the past nine months? In a world where the desire to love and be loved seems like a rare stroke of luck, the pursuit of emotional connection can feel like a delicate dance.

As our physical entanglement deepened, so did my emotional attachment. I confessed this newfound vulnerability, only to hear him echo similar sentiments. The paradox, however, lay in his simultaneous emotional distance. It seems we’ve collectively assigned vulnerability as a weakness, even for the bravest among us. Love, in such circumstances, begins to resemble a burnout — a slow, agonizing process when it remains unreciprocated, despite enduring years of silent longing and rejection.